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Carnival Cruise Ship Successfully Completes Voyage Without Disaster

carnival cruiseNEW YORK CITY, NY – In a shocking turn of events, a Carnival Cruise ship has docked safely in the New York harbor.

The Carnival Freedom arrived yesterday afternoon after a two-week journey to the Caribbean and back without any major disaster. Close to 3,000 passengers carefully walked off the ship with all of their belongings, some noting that it “wasn’t half-bad”.

“I was sweating it a bit,” said Jamie Lynd, 33. “There was a point around day three that all of us passengers came together and prayed that we wouldn’t be killed, maimed, or trapped on the ship. It’s safe to say that God answered our prayers.” Others agreed with Lynd’s assessment.

“I fully expected to be stuck on the ship once it rammed into a reef, and have to shit and piss wherever I could, so I brought several extra pairs of pants,” another passenger said.” “I didn’t even end up using them.”

The Freedom was the first Carnival ship to reach port safely in over seven months. The last disaster came just one week ago when the Carnival Vanity sank just 300 yards from Miami Beach. Authorities ultimately blamed the captain of the ship, Jack Davidson, who has now been arrested for possession of meth.

The Captain of the Freedom, Mark Ritter, told us about his own fear during the voyage. “There were a couple of bumpy spots. We ran over a small fishing boat on day six. I thought for sure we were all going to drown. Fortunately, the majority of that boat got swept under our ship. It was like a elephant enveloping an ant. Pretty cool. Pretty…cool.”

A spokesperson for Carnival Cruises has told us that finishing successful cruises is the company’s main objective going forward.

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This entry was posted on April 10, 2013 by in Pop-Culture.
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