Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
PENSACOLA, FL – After a joke was told at the Roscoe Paper Company, an employee had a perfectly-timed rimshot, delighting his fellow co-workers.
“Oh, jeez,” Patrick Grand, the rimshotter, said. “I can’t even remember what joke Danny said now.”
Danny Plainfield, the joke-teller, insists the joke was ‘off the cuff, smart, and poignant’. “I’m not going to say it was the greatest joke I ever told, but it was pretty far up there. One of our salesmen said something about our rival company, Trailmaker Paper, taking all of our cardstock customers. And I said, ‘Well, they’re taking all our printer paper customers, too, might as well take them all!’ That’s when Patrick chimed in with the ‘ba dum bum‘. You know, like one of those drummers from Vegas.”
“I was originally going to go, ‘ba dum psshhh‘, but I had to go with my gut. It was great,” Grand explained to us.
“I think a lot of the people that work here thought we planned it,” Plainfield said. “We didn’t. That “ba dum bum” came right from Patrick’s head.”
Other workers at Roscoe Paper aren’t convinced.
“Last month, Danny said something about the weather being ‘hot and wet’, and Patrick immediately yelled ‘That’s what she said!’,” Sarah Colleen, 10-year veteran of Roscoe told us. “We all knew they had come together and planned for that. So, yeah, I think the rimshot was planned.”
“No one even laughed at it,” Colleen continued.