Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
In a frightening mishap occurring the previous weeks, it appears that the translators communicating messages between North Korea and the U.S. mistakenly said “nukes” instead of the real translation: “nudes.”
Kim Jong Un is known for his overwhelming pride, powerful appearance, and tight control over a North Korea. He is not, however, known for his resilient horniness. It appears that Kim Jong Un wanted to send nudes to the United States as a gesture of friendship and silly mischief.
“I wanted pictures of American ladies! Very hot! I wanted to trade for my pictures of Korean ladies! I don’t know how nuclear missiles got mixed in with everything,” said Un. Kim Jong Un’s translator was quickly hanged as a penalty for the mishap. This was done by Un to show America how Un is strongly in favor of non-violence. The American translator was also fired, but not in a comical way. (His name was Berry and he was a great guy.)
The White House Press Secretary James Carney explained that the U.S. would not be releasing nudes of the any American women unless Kim Jong Un actually proves that the last picture was Un’s real girlfriend’s chest.