Word Rat

Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"

People Who Follow Word Rat On Twitter Happier, Study Finds

ImageDECATUR/CHICAGO,IL – A recent study has found that people who follow Word Rat on Twitter tend to be happier people.

Research done at the University of Illinois Satirical News Division finds that, after following @wordrats, 99.9% of Twitter users report ‘more happiness’, ‘a busted gut’, and ‘larger penises’. Te research was done on behalf of the Do Whatever You Can To Get People To Follow You Grant.

“We found that if everyone followed @wordrats, there would be no more war and starvation would cease to exist,” Professor Jimmy Darmody told us.

Other research notes that while .1% reported ‘angry feelings’ at an ‘unfunny onion’, those followers are stupid and not worth much.

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This entry was posted on April 11, 2013 by in Science.
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