Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
People eating their breakfast first became aware of Monica Lewinsky, former famed intern at the White House and centerpiece of the impeachment preceedings of former President Bill Clinton, when she entered the establishment and approached the counter.
“I was astounded,” one patron told us. “I’ve never met anyone famous before.”
While Lewinsky might have been there to grab a quick Grand Slam or maybe a Bacon Burger, she never had the chance as the next person that walked in the restaurant after her was her former lover, Bill Clinton.
“Oh…hey,” the 42nd President is reported to have said. “I didn’t know you were in town.” Bill then reportedly half-leaned in for a hub before realizing what he was doing.
“Bill, it’s been a long time,” Lewinsky told the man she blew once a long time ago. “I guess it’s been about…”
“15 Years,” Bill said, finishing her sentence. “Fifteen…years.” Clinton then realized that all eyes in the restaurant were upon them and took a step back. “Well, nice seeing you. I’ll be on my way now.”
“You’re not eating?” Lewinksy asked.
“No, uh..no,” the President stammered. “I just came in to…spend a moment with my fellow Americans.” Clinton then began shaking hands with families sitting in booths nearby. “Hi, how you doing, vote for uh…someone.”
“He shook my hand,” another patron recalled. “It was awkward at first, but then it got really awkward when Hillary came in to see what was taking Bill so long.”
After the Clintons left, Lewinsky was seen softly weeping in her car.