Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
WASHINGTON D.C. – Reports indicate Vice President Joe Biden plans to throw a huge party when President Obama goes out of town in a couple of weeks. Biden has sent out Facebook invitations and texted all his friends about the upcoming party he plans to throw at the White House while President Obama is away on business. Obama will be visiting California in the coming weeks and Biden believes that this is the “perfect time to rage.”
Biden has already booked a DJ, organized catering from Chipotle, and ordered a number of inflatable moon-bounces. Obama has warned Biden about not throwing any parties while he is away on business. Nevertheless, Biden says this party will be “off the hook. What Obama don’t know won’t hurt him.”
Biden added: “I just want to say hey to all my Democrats out there! Come to my party at the White House. It’ll be ill! John Kerry will be there, Clinton is gonna be there! Hillary can come so it’s not a total sausage fest.” The Facebook invite has 11 people planning to attend and 13 maybes. Biden made it clear that Republicans are not invited, claiming them to be “s.o.l.”
Biden has reportedly been so excited about the party he pre-ordered a dozen kegs. When Biden was asked if he was worried the president may find out, Biden made a W with his hands and said, “whatevs.”