Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
SOUTHWEST OF DRAKKO ISLANDS – 8 years after crashing into the Southeast United States and breaking the levees in New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina is now spending her retirement in the South Pacific Ocean.
“It was a long time coming,” the tropical cyclone told us. “Ruining cities takes a lot out of you.” Katrina was formed on August 23, 2005, and lasted until August 30. Through those seven days, it caused an estimated $81 billion in damage. “I take a lot of pride in that number.”
Katrina retired on April 6, 2006. In the seven years since, Hurricane Katrina has spent most of it’s time in the Pacific Ocean, serving as a consultant for other hurricanes.
“It doesn’t pay well, but when I turn on The Weather Channel and see a young tropical storm that I helped out, I get that warm, gooey feeling in my heart,” Katrina said. “They don’t do things the same way I would have done them, but they get the job done.”
When asked about Hurricane Sandy, Katrina said it wasn’t impressed. “Hitting the East Coast is easy – those people get worked up over anything. You could be a thunderstorm and bring New York City to a standstill. Ain’t no art in that, baby.”
This is the first time Katrina has spoken to the media since appearing on the red carpet for Spike Lee’s ‘When The Levees Broke’.