Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
In a press release today Jay-Z, real name Shawn Carter, expressed regret for the leak. “I would never, ever have used those lines if I knew they were super-duper secret, man. It was just a few things I had heard hanging out with Prez.” The ‘Prez’ Carter references is President of the United States Barack Obama, who has known to have had meetings with him in the past.
Several media agencies has expressed concern with Obama and Carter’s relationship after Carter was allowed to visit Cuba recently, seemingly with Obama’s approval. Carter denies these claims.
“The Jigga Man went to Cuba because the J-Hova wanted to go to Cuba. Ain’t nobody that can stop me, not even Prez,” Carter wrote in the press release.
One Florida Republican lawmaker claims President Obama leaked these classified secrets on purpose.
“Okay, this line here, ‘Let me hear ya, like Teddy DeMarco in Syria’,” Florida lawmaker Paul Nicholson explained. “It’s known now that Teddy DeMarco is a CIA agent working in Syria. How could he have known that unless the President told him?”
In another verse in the song, Jay-Z raps: “Gonna explode on you like those missles aimed at North Korea”, and then seems to give exact coordinates. “42 degrees north, 125 degrees east – ya’ll are gonna find out why they call us ‘the beast’.”
“Aliens are real, met the green leader myself, looked at me wrong so I put him on the shelf,” Jay-Z claims at one point in the song.
“No way this is all coicidence,” Nicholson concluded. “‘Got troops on the border of Egypt, don’t tell anybody, that’s a secret’? That’s ridiculous.”
“Let Me Be Me” is produced by Swiss Beatz.