Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
CHICAGO, IL – At The Comedy Lounge in Chicago, members of the audience are reporting that a young comic is bombi– um, not being funny.
“He’s not getting any laughs,” one man in the crowd said. “I’ve never seen a comedian bo- fail like this.”
Twenty-seven year old Dylan Merchant took the stage roughly twenty minutes ago, and shortly after began to get heckled. One woman even screamed, “How does it feel to b-b-b- not make people who paid to see you laugh?”
“Tough crowd,” Merchant replied, on stage. “I don’t come to where you work and knock the memo out of your hand.”
“It’s not that he’s bom…bom bom bom, ba ba ba bom,” another member of the audience told us. “He’s got potential to blow u- um…”
“He just fucking sucks,” one woman concluded.