Word Rat

Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"

Cigarette Companies Begin Giving Away Prizes in Every Pack

RICHMOND, VA – Cigarette companies will begin offering a prize in every pack of cigarettes to increase sales.  Cigarette manufacturers say that with the new taxes on cigarettes,  consumers expect a little more “bang for their buck.”  toy

Companies like Marlboro and Camel are taking a page out of Cracker Jacks’ books by offering toys or candy along with their deadly product.  Some critics argue that this will draw younger people to start smoking.  Cigarette executives explain that they will try to make the prizes “health conscious.”

The pictured pack of cigarettes comes with a lollipop in the shape of a heart.  This allows the prize to not only be a tasty treat, but a reminder that smoking can lead to heart disease.  Other prizes include a “gummy lung” and yellow-coated chocolate candies in the shape of teeth.

“We are offering candy and toys in our cigarette packs now,” said Dean Wibbly, Phillip Morris executive.  “They are there to remind our consumers of the dangers of smoking while simultaneously appealing to their playful side.  We even offer a Surgeon General action figure.”

Only time will tell if these toys and candy increase smoking, but what better way to remind smokers of their own demise than with toys and tasty treats?

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This entry was posted on April 17, 2013 by in Community, Pop-Culture.
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