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“I’ve worked hard for the past eight years, and now I can say with supreme confidence…next year, I will be playing in the National League….Football,” former SLU quarterback Isaac Ronalds told the crowd at a press conference today. “Um…you heard me right. I’m going to the NLF!”
Ronalds is speaking, of course, of the National Football League. When Isaac was just eight years old, doctors told him he had dyslexia.
“I will always look back on my time in the NAAC at SUL fondly,” Isaac continued. “But now is the time to go forth into the great yondbe.”
Miraculously, Isaac’s disorder did not effect his studies. Most of his professors at SLU gave him high marks throughout his four years at the university.
“Oh, yeah, smart kid,” Professor Jack Goldman told us. Goldman was Isaac’s history professor. “He knew all about the history of the States United, especially their involvement in War II World…look, he’s a great football player. Isn’t that enough?”
The NFL certainly thinks so. Ronalds is expected to place as high as the 1st round in next week’s NFL Draft. This is not Isaac’s first foray into national sports. Last year, he tried to enter the NFL Draft for the first time, but ended up at the annual meeting of the National Leaf Foundation.
“I’m going to be number A next week,” Ronalds concluded at his press conference. “Or letter 1. Whichever comes first.”