Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
LAS VEGAS, NV – Gamblers are placing bets on the race and background of the suspect of the Boston bombings. Hundreds of thousands of dollars are being placed on each race and background as authorities search for the suspect.
“I hope it’s a white guy,” said gambler Tim Rhodes. Rhodes says he has $1000 “riding on” the suspect’s race and background.
Whether or not gambling on a terror suspect’s race is appropriate, it is being reported that many gamblers “like them odds.”
“I got myself a bet that it’s a Philipino individual,” said Marshall Gumbit, while spitting his chewing tobacco. Gumbit claims he always bets on Philipinos, and he’s due for a win.
The excitement in Vegas still claims to be mournful and compassionate about the victims. There are candles lit around the giant scoreboard that shows the bets.