Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
DAGOBAH – Master Yoda was arrested today after accusations came forward that he used the force to remove a woman’s bra without her consent. The Jedi Master was apprehended in Dagobah after a light saber battle between Yoda and the police.
“Said it would be alright, she did,” Yoda said while being taken to the nearest police station for questioning. “Pervert, I am not,” he added.
The police responded firmly as Officer Johnson said “these were not the tits you were looking for.” Officer Johnson was a Jedi in training before joining the Dagobah P.D.
“Bra leads to tits, tits lead to squishy, squishy leads to boner,” Yoda said at a press conference. “She must un-fasten what she has fastened,” Yoda added.
The Dagobah P.D. are not impressed by Yodas status in the Rebellion.
“As far as we’re concerned, Yoda’s an old pervert. And I like the Rebellion,” Officer Duncan said. It is yet to be confirmed whether any Skywalker would post bail.