Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
PHOENIX, AZ – Jodi Arias’ murder trial has been far from ordinary. First, she claimed that she was nowhere near the slaying of Arias’ ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander. Then, she claimed she was present while stealthy criminals broke into the house and killed the victim. Most recently, Arias said she killed Alexander in self-defense. Now, Jodi Arias is stating in trial that the death was “all an illusion.”
The trials have been ongoing since 2008 for Jodi Arias and the jury is beginning to see that Arias is constantly changing her story. There have been several claims that she has PTSD and mental illnesses.
Her story has changed drastically throughout the years. Her latest claim that everything was just a planned illusion is the most outlandish. Juries are beginning to mull it all over.
“Ladies and gentlemen, you have all been in the presence of an amazing illusion by the Magical Jodi,” Arias said while taking a bow. The state prosecutor, however, doubts the truthfulness of such an entertaining claim.
“If this is an illusion, Ms. Arias, then why is there a corpse with dozens of knife wounds?” Asked Juan Martinez, prosecutor.
“A good magician never reveals her secrets,” Arias responded. The jury, respectful of the history of magic, may be inclined to agree.