Word Rat

Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"

Ricin Suspect ‘All Shook Up’

TUPELO, MS – The man charged with sending threatening letters containing ricin was apparently an Elvis impersonator, according to sources.  Curtis is now behind bars and policemen are lining up to hear him sing Elvis songs like “All Shook Up” and, appropriately, “Jailhouse Rock.”  curtis

It took authorities only one day to find Curtis.  They found him hiding in a bathroom stall among other people in Tupelo.  One officer began looking at the feet of the people under the stall walls in the bathroom and identified Curtis by his blue suede shoes.

Lab results show that Curtis was indeed the perpetrator of the threatening mail.   Friends of Curtis say they hired him for parties to do his Elvis impersonation.

In jail, other prisoners are seeking autographs and apparently screaming at the top of their lungs as Curtis shakes his hips to Elvis tunes.  One prison warden says that when Curtis heard another inmate crying over being shanked, Curtis began singing, “You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time,” to which nearby prisoners danced along and snapped their fingers.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on April 18, 2013 by in Politics, Pop-Culture.
%d bloggers like this: