Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
ATLANTA, GA – CNN’s overuse of the phrase “breaking news” has caused the phrase to lose all meaning in news media. The decision that the phrase is meaningless was decided after CNN used the phrase “breaking news” for the same news story four days in a row.
“We will start using the phrase ‘breaking breaking news,'” explained Wolf Blitzer, CNN reporter. “And if that phrase gets rendered obsolete, we will start using ‘breaking breaking breaking news’ and so on.”
Other news media channels are also overusing the term, “breaking news.”
For instance, an Atlanta weatherman used the phrase to announce that there will be a slight drizzle in Atlanta. On another occasion, “breaking news” was used when the news announced that a PTO meeting was cancelled in the Minneapolis suburbs.
There is no word yet when CNN will begin using “breaking breaking breaking breaking news.”