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“Well, when you think about it, it kind of make sense, right?” Watertown Police Chief Edward Deveau told reporters just a few minutes ago. “It’s a very real possibility that we’re dealing with some sort of specially-trained, superpowered 19-year-old.”
This comes after several police agencies canvassed an area they thought the Boston bombings suspect was located. The massive manhunt has so far revealed no clues.
“I think Chief Deveau might be right, it would explain a lot,” Governor of Massachusetts Deval Patrick said. “I don’t see how 9,000 police officers wouldn’t be able to find a 19 year old man in a limited area, so really, it makes the most sense. This kid’s invisible.”
“I also think we should be thinking about the possibility that the suspect is an Animorph,” Chief Deveau added. “So if any Watertown residents see a cat or dog acting suspiciously, please, please report it. We want to get this taken care of as soon as possible.”
“And squirrels…” Gov. Patrick added.
“Yes, and squirrels,” Deveau concluded. “Suspect could easily be a squirrel.”