Word Rat

Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"

Suspect was Wearing a Mask; Turns Out It Was Old Man Jenkins from the Old Mill

BOSTON, MA – After authorities finally found the second suspect of the Boston Bombings, they discovered that the suspect was wearing a mask.  The terrorist was not 19 year old Dzhokar Tsarnaev after all, but Old Man Jenkins from the Old Mill.  mask

“And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling police, FBI, ATF, and National Guard!” Old Man Jenkins said after being de-masked.  Authorities also apparently had assistance from Scooby-Doo and the gang to capture the terror suspects.

“Hey man, it was just like, whoa dude, there he is!” Said Norville “Shaggy” Rogers, a member of Mystery Inc.  He arrived, disheveled, and with smoke billowing out when he opened the door.  Local police authorities are questioning Rogers about the smoke which smelled like marijuana.

Scooby-doo had little coherent information to say besides the fact that he wanted “scooby-snacks,” which caused all of the local crowd to burst out into laughter.

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One comment on “Suspect was Wearing a Mask; Turns Out It Was Old Man Jenkins from the Old Mill

  1. billierard
    April 20, 2013

    WTF dude! It’s not really Old Man Jenkins. Are they that dumb? He must have had plastic surgery or something to look like him, so that means Shaggy can’t pull his “mask” off.
    The police should calm down a bit about the marijuana. Everyone knows that they smoke pot too.

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This entry was posted on April 19, 2013 by in Politics.
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