Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
GREAT FALLS, MT – A customer who purchased a Big Mac in a Montana McDonald’s on Tuesday discovered that the patty had the likeness of the Virgin Mary, according to reports. The customer’s name was Jill Thompson, a devout Christian and McDonald’s customer, and she found the image when she was trying to put ketchup on her Big Mac.
According to reports, Thompson’s Big Mac contained, “Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, and the Virgin Mary.” When Thompson discovered this message was quite possibly from the heavens, she wept as she continued to eat her meal.
“This was truly a message from God,” Thompson said with her mouth full. Thompson continued to eat her Big Mac Meal despite others wanting to see the image.
Priests and other members of the clergy began showing up at the Great Falls McDonald’s to hope to find miracles themselves. Devout members of the church decided to start holding weekly meetings at the fast-food restaurant.
Skeptics say it was just an accidental flip on the grill, maybe onto some extra grease. Great Falls Christians say it was a miracle. One thing is for sure, over 1 billion have been served at McDonald’s, but only a select few have been served a miracle.