Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
DALLAS, TX – As the George W. Bush Presidential Library was unveiled today in Texas, former First Lady Laura Bush reportedly had to explain to her husband exactly what that was, and why his name was on it.
“George – don’t tell me you don’t know what this is,” Laura Bush is said to have told her husband, the former President George W. Bush. “We’ve been talking about this for weeks.” The 43rd President had briefly been seen asking spectators for their input on the ‘liberry’. “There’s books in there.”
“Books I wrote?” George asked his wife. “I don’t remembering books I wrote.”
“I see my name on it – does that mean I own this?” Bush asked reporters at the ceremony. “Or does this mean this building is the new George W. Bush, and I’m no longer George W. Bush? Excuse me, I’m getting nauseus.” The former President then strolled over to a set of bushes and vommited behind them. “Where’s Laura? LAURA! I need my bib.”
“For Christ’s sakes, George,” the former First Lady said. “Get up. There are cameras here.”
Shortly after, two other former Presidents spoke of the proceedings.
“Great son you got there, George,” former President Bill Clinton told George H.W. Bush shortly following the accident.
“Shove it up your ass, Bill,” H.W. snapped back.