Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
BOSTON, MA – CNN executives have decided to change the name of their network to the “Boston Bombings Network” to fit with their programming. Today, eleven days after the bombings, CNN continues to cover news about the bombings twenty-four/seven.
Confused people in Boston continue to walk by cameras in Boston streets with Anderson Cooper speaking.
“I don’t know why they’re still here,” Boston resident Hugh Franklin said about CNN. “Did the rest of the world stop making news for them?”
CNN executives seem to be “making themselves real comfortable” in Boston.
“Well, you know we’ve been wanting to visit Boston for a while,” said Anderson Cooper. “And I’m beginning to be a huge Red Sox fan,” he added.
Boston residents are simply confused when they claim to be walking home from a bar drunk and start stumbling over CNN cameras and crew-members. Male residents say it’s distracting seeing Erin Burnett or Brooke Baldwin out their workplace windows everyday.
Nevertheless, the “BBN” (Boston Bombings Network) seems here to stay.