Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
Evil man James Lerpman announced today that he will be opening a chain of Badwill stores for customers all over the country. Portions of the proceeds will go towards organized crime, guns to gangs programs, Pot for Tots, and other evil organizations all over the world.
Lerpman said he wanted a second hand store for the villains of the world. Customers can expect to browse through used syringes, crack pipes, bomb materials, and of course, “I’m with Stupid” t-shirts.
“I’m just glad we can provide some competition to organizations that benefit the world,” Lerpman said. “Mwahahaha,” he added.
The stores will be built on ancient burial grounds, state parks, and otherwise treasured real estate. Thrift store connoisseurs all over are excited for the new stores.
“At least these stores are honest that their will is bad,” said shopper Susie Starling.