Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
ALBUQUERQUE , NM – The cast and crew of the show Breaking Bad are all under investigation after it was discovered that there was actually methamphetamine being created and distributed while the cameras were rolling. It turns out creator Vince Gilligan and star Bryan Cranston were actually involved in the meth business, and needed a full-proof way to get away with everything. Gilligan pitched a show idea to network executives and soon they were cooking and selling meth while cameras caught everything. If anyone ever asked what they were doing, they simply said that they were filming a television show.
“It all makes sense now,” said DEA agent Garrett Blibs. “If you watch the progression of the show, their meth labs get more and more intricate and expensive. They start in a little RV, then it turns into a whole warehouse operation.” No policemen ever expected a thing about the “television show” while they were “filming.”
“We had to make drastic money decisions. One scene, we could either buy more meth or buy Bryan Cranston pants for the shot. We bought meth and blamed all our wardrobe and fancy haircut shortcomings as artistic expression,” Breaking Bad creator Gilligan said.
“Things started getting a little out of hand. The show gained popularity and we had all this cash we had to use somehow, so we made it a prop. People all believe it. This was our lives getting out of countrol on camera. Then it got crazy so we had to cut the show short and not drag it through ten seasons like we wanted to,” said Bryan Cranston.
Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan and the Breaking Bad cast are all now under an active D.E.A. investigation. Two officers are handling the case by themselves and just drove into the desert for something, they’ll be alright.