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LOS ANGELES, CA – Actor, musician, dancer and writer Miley Cyrus has recently been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for uniting Americans in their feelings of repulsion. Cyrus is being described as a “visionary” and a “brilliant ideas-woman” for her recent work. Americans, liberals, conservatives, young and old are all uniting together in their feelings of absolute repulsion for Cyrus and her “musical artistry.”
For example, FOX News recently called Cyrus “arrogant” and “tramp-like.” While MSNBC referred to Cyrus’ VMA performance as “the sluttiest fucking thing we’ve ever seen.” The two stations, which align with opposing political opinions, finally agree on something: that Miley Cyrus is a dumb slut.
The father of Miley Cyrus, who seems to be some country-bunker has-been, says that he could not be more proud of Cyrus. While fathers everywhere are preventing their daughters from going out looking like floozies, Billy Ray Cyrus is doing everything he can to make sure every American sees his daughter naked.
On Cyrus’ latest music video, “Wrecking Ball,” writer Eric Fontane tells us how he thinks it is hilarious that Cyrus agreed to do the song. “Cyrus is a trainwreck, a wrecking ball, and altogether a big whore wreck. So I guess you could say I had a ball writing this,” Fontane told us.
Miley Cyrus will be accepting the award at the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony, and she will also be performing a B-side from her album entitled “Lickin’ Balls.”