Reliable Fake News. "Shitty Onion"
NEW YORK, NY – A recent background check into Donald Trump’s penis showed that the penis was a registered Democrat, and an avid supporter of Senator Bernie Sanders. The news comes as a surprise to many who expected Trump’s tiny penis to be ignorant of politics or incapable of rational thought. Trump’s penis says he often “feels the Bern,” “if you know what I mean,” he added.
Donald Trump’s penis, also known by his pseudonym Larry Steinthal, said that he’s been supporting Bernie ever since he heard that his master, Donald, was running for president. The penis declined to offer information on his height, but hinted that he was a grower. “My political beliefs are growing strongly, and I don’t believe in how ‘showy’ Donald Trump is.” Donald Trump has refrained from releasing an official dick pic, likely because of his schlong’s political party affiliation.
Today, Trump’s stubbly old pecker lives an honest life as a used car salesmen and made “employee of the month” last week. The penis has two children, and the penis considers each descendent to be a “ball to hang out with.”